dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
