HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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