I feel like I'm in dance class right now
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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