it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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