Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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