Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
