Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
