Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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