Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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