so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
