Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
