That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
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I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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