i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize