And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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