I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
