I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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