I think I just saw someone hide a body.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
