Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
