mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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