walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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