uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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