Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my shit smells like andre
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
