i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
