I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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