I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
