He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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