It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
