Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
