Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize