Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
