you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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