we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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