I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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