seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
