I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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