we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
