I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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