Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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