U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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