Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
