youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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