I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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