I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize