I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
