I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize