I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
