is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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