i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
