I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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