That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
