I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
