is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Vodka?
Forever.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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