Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
