Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize