I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
