Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize