More tranny stories later!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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