if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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