it wasn't lemon gatorade
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
