She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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