is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
